I’ve lost all self control


I am passionate. I have strong opinions. You already knew this.

Throughout my social media existence, I’ve engaged, at various times in various levels of intensity, in many of those issues I feel strongly about; abortion, gun rights, theology, and many other things.

For those of us used to some kind of western idea of freedom, we’re accustomed to being free to engage in a discussion or debate, with at least a small amount of freedom to speak our minds. It’s codified in one of the most basic documents of our nation. However, if you’re a guest in my home, and you’re rude or I simply don’t want to hear your opinion, I’m free to ask you to leave.

In the socialwebs, that’s most often embodied in the infamous “unfriending”. Some websites allow you to do something in between, like hiding the offending party.

One area that doesn’t seem used that often, is the simple closing of comments. Bloggers and old skool media do this often. They write something they know will be offensive or bother their readers, so they close comments. Google+ allows this. Posting to this blog, allows this. Facebook, however, does not. 😦 Coupled with my love-to-hate relationship with Facebook, I wish I could just close it down for good. But there are too many actually-important-to-me family and friends whom I remain in contact with, on Facebook. Some of them live far away, and I just can’t get them to use Google+ for a better experience.

So, for now I’m going to try something new. When I post controversial stuff, just know that I’ll most likely just delete debate-worthy comments. It’s that simple. For those who can’t handle it, they can make it all go away by unfriending me. I’m more than willing, however, to take that conversation to a more private place.

First, I want to reserve my debate energy for actual people in my actual life. I cannot take upon the burden of changing the minds of every person I know, online. (Some of whom are photographically oriented friendships, of tremendous diversity.) So, rather than retort with you all, I’ll wait until we see each other in person.

Second, I will also permit any of those who genuinely want to discuss or even understand my view more, to chat with me on Facebook’s direct message center, or of course email always works.

I’m even considering going back through the past few day’s worth of heated conversations, and trimming out the contentiousness.

What do you think? Am I being unfair? Am I closed minded?


Author: TREVOR

Leukemia survivor. Son of The Most High. Father. Man.

3 thoughts on “I’ve lost all self control”

  1. Trevor, I don’t always agree with you on politics, but I certainly understand where your’e coming from on this. I know quite a few people who have taken to doing this same sort of thing. And ’cause you’re such a nice guy, you’ll be sure to remind people about your policy once in a while, right? 😉

    So how about something totally non-controversial? Had any good craft beers lately?


    1. Julie, you are a perfect example of someone with whom I can and do engage with, on a variety of topics. I have valued your friendship, and you’ve contributed to me in valuable ways. Just cutting off the possible interaction because we may disagree, even on big important issues, misses the mark. I’m glad that this makes sense! Thanks!

      Yes, I will definitely make a point of reminding my online peeps about this. I think I’ll post the short URL to this post, anytime I delete a comment, at least for a while. I may even make a nice custom short URL for it. Maybe I’ll turn it into a “page” instead of a “post”.

      Beer. Mmmmm, always a good subject!

      I have had several great craft beers lately! A group of like-minded buddies came over last week and we enjoyed a bunch of tasty bears! Here’s a photo of the beers I had that night: http://instagram.com/p/TKo562DAIO/

      The White Chocolate, by The Bruery was assault-worthy. I wouldn’t kill for it, but I’d mame. 🙂 The Abyss, by Deschutes Brewing IS kill-worthy. That bottle was a 2010, and I think made better by the age. I have a 2012 that the wife and I will probably have on Christmas.

      As always, I love all things Firestone, which is my local brewery. And I’m hoping to hit Surf Brewing, in Ventura, soon. (My cousin works there.)


      1. Mmmm, lovely beers!

        There’s a year-old brewery here in the Dallas area called Petecolas. They just won a gold medal for their Royal Scandal. Right now I think all their beers are draft, and only distributed locally. But if you ever find one of those or a Velvet Hammer in your neck of the woods, do try it.

        I’ve had some good stuff from Deschutes. Had their Black Butte Porter on draft a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t seen The Abyss on tap anywhere. (Boy, is that a bizarre statement taken out of context!) And I’ll be on the lookout for brews from Firestone.

        Do you still have an Android phone? There’s a great app (which you may already have) called Remembeer. It’s not like I’m a lush (really, I’m not), but when the seasonals come out it’s fun to look back at my tasting notes from a year previous.

        And before I forget, hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas. I’m working on our card today (behind as usual) and will post it on Facebook and G+.


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