On August 28th, 1997 I met Deanna Smith. We were at our pastor’s home, for a small meal. She and the pastor’s daughter were close friends. I was the high school Sunday school teacher. About two months later, I took her on our first date. Today, we have 4 children, and have been married for nearly 11 years. She’s a keeper.
On this day, I celebrate what a tremendous mother she is to my children. At that age when young men stop acting like boys and starting thinking ahead to the future, I could not have conceived of a woman like Deanna. Most young men dream of a beautiful wife, who is also wise. Most settle for one or the other. My wife is both…and then some.
The list of her great qualities is too much for just one blog post. It is not just a bullet list. It would merit description and detail.
Few men have a wife who honors and respects them like mine. It is amazing how much easier it is to love her, through all of life’s experiences, when I know how much she respects me. You know, when faced with the opportunity to humbly compromise, for her sake, it’s so much easier when I know that she honors me.
There are times I wake in the morning, and she’s already up and starting the day. I lay there, listening to the sounds of our home, as she is steering it like a large ocean-going vessel. Yes, two of the boys are fighting and their sister is yelling at someone. But, Deanna is still guiding the whole thing. Meanwhile, something smells good in the oven, and the coffee has been made.
As I listen in, she is passing out wisdom to the younger ones, helping them learn to respect each other and not be selfish. Then she’s guiding the older two with the wonderful concepts of our Lord; “Wouldn’t God be happy if you did that?”…I hear her say.
This is the kind of woman who doesn’t need a man to fiddle with the hot-water heater. She doesn’t wait for me to take care of it. She just goes out into the garage, and reads the simple instructions. If it’s not there, she hits the internets and finds the solution herself. She’s not too lazy to chase a new bicycle rider around the park, just in case she falls. She’s not so inept, as some, that she won’t try to hang the picture all by herself. My wife is the kind of woman most men wish they had married.
Sometimes in life, we are faced with those self-realizing moments. Times when we are seeing ourselves more clearly. An old friend once described this like that Lord is sitting with us in a dimly lit room. The room is our life. In the beginning, the light is low, and we can only see a small bit of the room. The Lord helps us clean up that part. When we’re ready, he turns up the light a bit, and we see a bit more that needs cleaning up. This goes on and on, throughout our whole walk with Him.
Recently, I was at a stage where the Lord had turned up the light a bit. I was looking around, and seeing some more things that needed order, repair, and cleaning. As I began to struggle with it, my wonderful wife was right there beside me. She had seen much of this already, but had waited for the Lord to reveal it to me. She was right by my side, ready when the Lord had made me ready.
That’s the kind of wife you wish you had. That’s the kind of wife I have.
When it comes to being a mother, there are few women who genuinely deserve it. In the context of our relationship with God, we all deserve so very little, other than punishment. In the context of our relationship with those around us, just a few more deserve the earthly blessings we receive. My wife is one of those.
The strength God has given her to face many of the challenges she has had victory over, is quite amazing. Through this, God has blessed her with amazing gifts and talents, that equip her to be a very rare kind of mother.
Throughout history, there have been just a few mothers that were noteworthy. In time, our kids will more-than-likely see their mother that way, as noteworthy.
I have been blessed.